Plot rewritten
I've completely rewritten my entire plot.
Having begun to write my script and develop a shooting schedule, it quickly seemed apparent that my storyline and plot would not cut it as a drama. The storyline I had come up with was much too short, and it did not have any potential to be extended so that it could fill an entire 3 minutes. What I had in mind and what the viewers would be able to extract from my presentation of the story were two diffent things. This was a deep flaw.
So I decided to boil my plot down to its very base. I was left with a werewolf who does not know he killed someone.
However, working with this would lead to the same issues my old plot did. I needed to remove the werewolf completely. There was not enough reason for the werewolf aspect of the show to exist. I could not justify it and that aspect would not even show up in the 3 minutes I was filming. If had been more on the ball with regards to how the plot would pan out from the beginning, perhaps I'd have seen this coming. Nevertheless, I had to make do with what I had. So I continued to strip the story down.
Then I was left with the plot of a person, who had killed someone, but did not know they had. This plot, I'm aware, has already been done before. However, there's still lots of potential in it- especially to create a tense drama section that fulfills the requirement for my production to be either a significant point of conflict, key turning point, or resolution. I think I've come up with a drama that is more filmable and has the capacity to include more character development with better story-line.
Three characters:
Neil
Eve
Blake
(Start here)
Eve runs in and picks up a phone and calls the police. Tells that that there has been a murder. Then cut to scene of Neil lying dead on the floor. Cut back to Eve. Then she says her friend Blake must be the killer he isn't here, and begins to describe Blake. We cut to Blake in a place hiding. Cut back to Eve. Eve recounts a story of how it happened.
They were going for a walk in the woods. They stopped on the way at a bench. Suddenly, Blake got up and assaulted Neil, killing him. In her fear, she ran away from Blake.
As she finishes the call, and the police have confirmed they're coming, she puts the phone away- we see blood on the phone but she wouldn't have.
She puts the phone away because she's begun to hear rustling. It's Blake. She sees him, in his hiding place. Eye contact made- he emerges, trying to get away as she also backs away. He's scared of her. She holds up her phone at him, as a weapon. He backs off, but speaks.
Blake accuses her of being the killer and that she needs to stay away from him. Why did she accuse him, he asks, why did she have to frame him? She says no, it was you, what do you mean? He is appalled. He begins to tell his story, then he recounts the same events, but it ends with him pointing at something; "and we put the picnic there". Amounts of tension in this scene.
(shot idea: in a wide shot he points at the picnic. We cut to picnic cloth. Then we see someone come sit on the picnic cloth, and pan to reveal we have changed time; we're in the same place but during an earlier time, revealing that this a flashback. We zoom into Eve's face, and it fades to black. We cut back to scuffed up Eve in present time).
Eve realises that the narrative she told was different, and not factually correct, because the proof of Blake's story is right in front of her. We finally cut to a full body view of her and see that she's completely covered in blood. She is the true killer.
The End.
Having begun to write my script and develop a shooting schedule, it quickly seemed apparent that my storyline and plot would not cut it as a drama. The storyline I had come up with was much too short, and it did not have any potential to be extended so that it could fill an entire 3 minutes. What I had in mind and what the viewers would be able to extract from my presentation of the story were two diffent things. This was a deep flaw.
So I decided to boil my plot down to its very base. I was left with a werewolf who does not know he killed someone.
However, working with this would lead to the same issues my old plot did. I needed to remove the werewolf completely. There was not enough reason for the werewolf aspect of the show to exist. I could not justify it and that aspect would not even show up in the 3 minutes I was filming. If had been more on the ball with regards to how the plot would pan out from the beginning, perhaps I'd have seen this coming. Nevertheless, I had to make do with what I had. So I continued to strip the story down.
Then I was left with the plot of a person, who had killed someone, but did not know they had. This plot, I'm aware, has already been done before. However, there's still lots of potential in it- especially to create a tense drama section that fulfills the requirement for my production to be either a significant point of conflict, key turning point, or resolution. I think I've come up with a drama that is more filmable and has the capacity to include more character development with better story-line.
Three characters:
Neil
Eve
Blake
(Start here)
Eve runs in and picks up a phone and calls the police. Tells that that there has been a murder. Then cut to scene of Neil lying dead on the floor. Cut back to Eve. Then she says her friend Blake must be the killer he isn't here, and begins to describe Blake. We cut to Blake in a place hiding. Cut back to Eve. Eve recounts a story of how it happened.
They were going for a walk in the woods. They stopped on the way at a bench. Suddenly, Blake got up and assaulted Neil, killing him. In her fear, she ran away from Blake.
As she finishes the call, and the police have confirmed they're coming, she puts the phone away- we see blood on the phone but she wouldn't have.
She puts the phone away because she's begun to hear rustling. It's Blake. She sees him, in his hiding place. Eye contact made- he emerges, trying to get away as she also backs away. He's scared of her. She holds up her phone at him, as a weapon. He backs off, but speaks.
Blake accuses her of being the killer and that she needs to stay away from him. Why did she accuse him, he asks, why did she have to frame him? She says no, it was you, what do you mean? He is appalled. He begins to tell his story, then he recounts the same events, but it ends with him pointing at something; "and we put the picnic there". Amounts of tension in this scene.
(shot idea: in a wide shot he points at the picnic. We cut to picnic cloth. Then we see someone come sit on the picnic cloth, and pan to reveal we have changed time; we're in the same place but during an earlier time, revealing that this a flashback. We zoom into Eve's face, and it fades to black. We cut back to scuffed up Eve in present time).
Eve realises that the narrative she told was different, and not factually correct, because the proof of Blake's story is right in front of her. We finally cut to a full body view of her and see that she's completely covered in blood. She is the true killer.
The End.
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